Saboroso
| affiliation = Land of Cactus Taco Más (restaurant) | team = Himself | partner = Saboroso bows to no man | clan = Macho Clan | family = Padre (father, deceased) Mamá (mother, deceased) Abuelo (grandfather, not yet deceased) Abuelita (grandmother, almost deceased) | rank = | registration = XX-21-9000 | academy age = 5 | chunin age = 10 | occupation = , | nature type = Taco Release Fire Release Earth Release | jutsu = A lot (probably numbering somewhere around 1000) | tools = | other = Practically invincible }} Saboroso is a from the Land of Cactus. He is the owner and at Mucho Taco, a small restaurant. Since does not exist in the Shinobi world, it is assumed that Saboroso and his ancestors are the ones who invented the cuisine. Background Saboroso was born to two unimportant (because they die anyway) Shinobi parents from the Macho Clan, the most important clan in the Land of Cactus and the clan renowned for their amazing powers in Taco Release. Saboroso's parents named him "Saboroso" in hopes that he would someday carry out the legacy of crafting the most tasty tacos in the world, leaving all enemies of the Taco in agonizing defeat. Saboroso grew up in the shadow of cactuses, and his only friends were the velociraptors native to the desert climes of his homeland. At a young age he mastered Earth, Fire, and Taco Release, and was capable of harnessing the power of his Chili-Pepper Chakra. In fact, his level of skill was so incomparably great that he perfected Sage Mode just three days after his birth. He also began to acquire the arts of 1000 jutsu as granted to him via use of his Eternal Burritogan. Otherwise he had a fairly standard childhood. He attended the Shinobi Academy, had the top grades in his class, was the best at all the ninja skills, graduated early, killed his first at the age of four, slaughtered an entire Alternate Universe Uchiha army, etc. At the tender age of six, Saboroso was visited in a dream by the glorious , who brought him wisdom on a platter stacked with tacos. Upon consuming these tacos, Saboroso was filled with immense power and flatulence, with which he was told to "bring ominous, foreboding, ill-portented, sinister, dark doom" upon a powerful enemy in the future. Unfortunately, his young mind did not yet grasp the importance of the prophesy, as he took the fiery vision to be an advertisement for a hot sauce sale. But then, tragedy struck. After returning home from school one day, Saboroso found, to his horror, that his entire family had been murdered, and that a Great Wall had appeared to divide his homeland. As the inferno roared high above the wall, the face of Saboroso's nemesis appeared above the flames, and Saboroso screamed in pain and hatred. Barred from ever again entering the Land of Cactus, Saboroso realized that only by becoming stronger could he prove a worthwhile challenge to his clan's killer and sworn-enemy, Dōnārudo Turāmpu. Through his desire for vengeance, he gained even more immense power. As the last member of the Macho Clan, Saboroso swore he would not rest he had had his revenge, which is among his driving goals to this day. Personality Saboroso suffers from a condition known as Mario Estu, which means he is infallible and inherently good and can never fail. Appearance Saboroso is a semi-short young man with ideal weight and perfectly crafted muscles. His muscles are not hugely defined, but they are perfect. As is the case with most characters of increduously high levels of power, he has short, tomato-red hair. His amber eyes the color of , and he has pointy eyebrows. Others have described him as being extremely guapo, which means "handsome" and is not to be confused with . In fact, he is so guapo that if he happens to walk into a room where females are present, the gravitational field becomes warped due to the strength of their attraction towards him. Despite possessesing such good looks, he does not seem to care very much about his appearance, which only makes him seem more cool. Saboroso wears basic brown trousers and a long-sleeved black shirt rolled up to his elbows when societal conventions force him to wear clothes. Otherwise he wears nothing but a white apron, which covers his perfectly crafted chest and extends to his knees. The fact that he does not wear much clothing means that he has instead naturally adapted to particularly harsh climates, even such extremes as icy wastelands or burning deserts. He also proudly wears the symbol of his clan, which is a large yellow sombrero with black trim and white dingleberries. The dingleberries are believed to hold mystical powers, which makes them mystically powerful. Equipment *'Genjutsu-Absorbing Mustache:' It is a mustache that Saboroso wears to absorb all forms of Genjutsu, meaning it can absorb any and all Genjutsu, up to infinite amounts. It also sparkles when activated. *'Sombrero:' This is a large-brimmed straw hat which Saboroso carries with him at all times as it is the symbol of his clan. He can also use the sombrero as a shield, umbrella, door-stopper, flirting device and/or mating signal, can-opener, frisbee, and parasol, depending on the situation. The sombrero is made from a highly tensile material that happens to be the strongest material on earth, which makes it rather heavy to wear but also indestructible. As Sabaroso's neck muscles are particularly strong, he does not seem to mind the extra weight. Abilities Taijutsu *'Drunken Tequila Fist' *'Eight Gates of Heavenly Tequila' Ninjutsu 1000 Assorted Jutsu: There are one-thousand of them. Bukijutsu Sombrerojutsu Summoning Technique Saboroso formed a contract with desert-dwelling from the Land of Cactus, which he can summon by placing a bad-ass looking seal on the ground combined with a bit of his own chili peppper infused chakra blood. He is often seen sitting astride these gigantic velociraptors as he rides into battle to wreak havoc upon all his hapless foes. They are extremely powerful and will eat everything in sight, often causing his foes to flee in terror just from the sight of them. The one downside to using velociraptors as summons is that they only speak velociraptor and will occassionally try to eat him. Space-Time Ninjutsu *'Flying Taco God Technique:' The Flying Taco God Technique allows Saboroso to instantly transport himself and other people or objects to a location marked with a taco. In order to activate this technique, he must mark the intended location with a taco. After this is done, he can travel through an infinite void of tacos to reach the taco-marker. The taco can be applied almost anywhere, including underwater or in lava. This is because the tacos are water-resistant, and also fire-resistant. The tacos can also by applied through brief taco contact with an opponent. While the marking taco never disappears, this technique's one weakness is that someone may be able to pick up the taco and move it to somewhere other than the intended target, meaning Saboroso could end up in random locations (such as someone's stomach upon their ingesting the taco, which is the most typical result). Nature Transformation *'Taco Release:' The basic state of the Taco Release, and essentially its only function, is to release massive amounts of tacos, which Saboroso can then use in a variety of techniques. While he can release a mountain of tacos all at once, he can also materialize tacos at limited numbers or as needed, which is fortunate as he can then save tacos to savor later, or save unused tacos as leftovers. **'Unlimited Taco Works:' The pinnacle of all taco techniques, Unlimited Taco Works, once released, causes all of Saboroso's opponents in a prescribed area to experience a heightened state of taco love. Their attraction to tacos becomes undeniable, and they begin to fall prey to all of his techniques due to the moth-drawn-to-a-flame quality of his unlimited tacos, which he typically offers at a discount after the battle is over. **'Taco Style: One Thousand Days on the Toilet Technique:' This is a torturous technique that occurs when an opponent consumes one of Saboroso's "Tacos Especials", which is likely to happen due to the use of Unlimited Taco Works. After eating such a taco, the opponent will experience extreme gastronomical discomfort, and effects too gruesome to mention will soon follow. *'Shaving Cream Release' (シャエビングクリーム遁, Shaebingukurimu-ton, Viz: Shaving Cream Style) is a made up of shaving cream components. Unlike Saboroso’s Taco Release, Shaving Cream Release is not genetic and can be taught to anyone who has access to large amounts of shaving cream. Shaving cream can create a smothering, crushing force that rolls across the landscape like a giant marshmallow before enveloping the hapless target entirely. The shaving cream is extremely potent, and can disintegrate any object it comes in contact with and turn said object into shaving cream as well, which adds to the general mass of the shaving cream. Not only does this technique drown its victims in shaving cream, but it also prepares the target to have their asses subsequently “shaved” by the user of the release. The shaving cream can also be shaped into small, three dimensional objects, which can provide a useful substitute in a snow or mashed-potato sculpture contest. The shaving cream is formed between the user’s hands, although it may also be formed elsewhere. Dōjutsu *'Burritogan:' Burritogan: Like the Rinnegan, but infinitely better because it is made of burritos, which while not as powerful as tacos, still possess infinite power. When using his Burritogan, Saboroso's eyes literally turn into burritos, often causing his opponents to become unnerved due to fear and intimidation, obviously. ::Infinite Tortilla: *'Susan-hō:' Chili-Pepper Chakra Genjutsu Saboroso does not use Genjutsu as Genjutsu is not manly. However, he does have a Genjutsu-Absorbing Mustache, which he can put on and take-off at will in order to perfectly absorb an opponent's Genjutsu, which makes their Genjutsu useless. Intelligence Other Skills Stats *''While it may seem as though this number is inaccurate, it was arrived at by squaring 5 eight times. The negative integer was ignored, for the obvious reason that Saboroso's level of power is infinitely positive.'' Plot Trivia *''Sabroso'' means "tasty" in Spanish, but since the transcription was meant to fit the Japanese pronunciation, it was changed to "Saboroso." Ironically, saboroso also means "tasty" in Portuguese. *His theme song, as stated by the author, is El Jarabe Tapatio. This is because it is the beat he uses whilst kicking other people's asses. *This article is most likely considered to be offensive to some. The author ensures that this was intentional. *Inspiration for this article is attributed both to Kiritsugu, and to the Unlimited Italian Works by User:Dragon Lord Erin. It was the author's intent to create an article with similar themes but as an RP-able character. **Credit for the name and concept behind Taco Style: One Thousand Days on the Toilet technique goes to User:Princeharris1993. *Even though "Taco" may have been once used to refer to User:DazzlingEmerald and/or as a word of profanity, this article bears no relation to him, unless it is to indirectly make fun of him. *Saboroso would most like to fight Donald Trump. *The author consider's Saboroso to be his "most cherished" work. Quotes *(To a random opponent) "You have a weak Taco, hermanito. Why is your Taco weak? Because you lack la Chimichanga. If you want the Taco, despise la Chimichanga, hate la Chimichanga, and live the Taco. Run to the taco, CLING to the Taco, and then, someday, when you DO have a Taco, come to my Taco Stand. Then perhaps we will be equals." *''"A wise man once told me that one man's junk is another man's treasure. But you, señor, are truly priceless."''